


It Takes a Funeral

by Laaverosada



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: BBL spoilers, ICPSS enabled, M/M, Seven years after events in game, suicide TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-15 07:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4598190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laaverosada/pseuds/Laaverosada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakuya meant everything to him, but now that he's gone... If Yuuya was ever to find purpose in his life again, he'd need all the help he could get from the one person who knew him best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reunions and Farewells

Leone had made it a habit to read through the obituary every time he picked up a newspaper. When you’re a Dove agent, everyday you expect to lose friends, colleagues, and even enemies; and he tried to keep on top of whose family he needed to send flowers to, which contact to delete out of his address book, and when to breathe a sigh of relief over the passing of a dangerous Hawk agent.

But he never expected to see _his_ name.

He almost didn’t believe it, but then the media picked it up, and that was the only story he ever saw when he turned on the news: Sakuya Le Bel Shirogane, 24, killed by a car bomb while en route to a ceremony where he would be formally recognized as the head of the Le Bel family, following the recent death of his father.  The police caught the guy who installed the bomb, and he in turn named the eldest Le Bel son as the one who paid him off. The inheritance scandal was all anyone seemed to want to talk about.

Leone had never had the chance to talk to Sakuya in the two years that the boy attended St Pigeonations, but almost felt like he knew him, considering how often Yuuya had talked about him. It was actually because of Yuuya that Leone even came to the funeral. After Yuuya graduated high school, Leone only saw him again once or twice before they fell out of contact. But not a day went by that Leone didn’t think about him. Well, mostly worry. The kid seemed to have a knack for getting himself into trouble, especially when he got emotional about something. And with his little brother now dead…

Leone approached the receiving line in front of the closed casket to give his condolences to the family, but he didn’t see Yuuya. Were the Le Bel’s so full of themselves that they couldn’t even let him grieve properly for his half brother? They couldn’t stand by someone with “common” blood for an hour or two? But then… maybe he wasn’t there because he wasn’t at the funeral. Leone hadn’t talked to him in years, so he couldn’t be absolutely certain that he was even alive. Sure, he hadn’t heard news about a death, but Dove agents went missing all the time, and often that information got swept under the rug if it had to do with a confidential mission.

But before the cockatiel could have a full blown panic attack, he saw him, sitting all alone in the back corner. As Leone made his way over, he could easily see that the kid was a mess. His eyes and nose were red and rubbed raw, and there were dark circles under his eyes, making it clear that he had been staying up all night crying. His hair was messy and his skin pale, a clear contrast to the way he prettied himself up while a student. His unfocused eyes were pointed at the ground, so he didn’t notice Leone. “Sakazaki?”

Yuuya jumped and looked up to meet Leone’s eyes. “L-Leone?” He bit his lower lip and returned his gaze to the floor, his hands rolling into tight fists in an attempt to stifle the shudders that now shook his frame.

Leone passed in front of him and took the seat next to him. He put a hand over one of Yuuya’s, sending another shudder through the grieving dove’s body. Yuuya looked away as tears began to stream down his face.

They just stayed like that for the rest of the service. Leone gave Yuuya’s hand a gentle squeeze every so often, while Yuuya refused to make eye contact. Even when they moved outside to lower the coffin into the grave, his eyes remained affixed to the ground. He only shifted his vision when it was his turn to throw a rose onto the coffin; a pale violet flower among a bed of red. The Le Bels gave him a dirty look for that. Or maybe it was because his hand was still firmly held in another man’s hand. Either way, he didn’t seem to care. It was hard to care about anything now that Sakuya was…

The grave diggers started the process of burying the coffin. Each time the dirt made contact, Yuuya flinched, sending a new tear down his face with each shovelful. Leone looked around at the faces of the other mourners, but no one else seemed to be nearly as upset as the bird next to him. The mood was somber for sure, but it almost seemed like everyone else was just wearing a mask… Looking sad because that’s what you do at a funeral, not because you actually cared. The Le Bels were the worst though. Sakuya’s step family all seemed to be trying to suppress smug grins, knowing that they would lay claim to all that Sakuya was supposed to inherit. Madame Shirogane at least seemed out of sorts, but that was because she was drunk. Apparently being sober for her son’s funeral wasn’t something she could cope with. Not that Leone could particularly blame her, as he felt he could use a drink too. Maybe he’d take Yuuya to a bar after this was all done, like old times. The kid sure as hell could do with a few beers and a drinking buddy to keep him from falling apart.

The funeral soon drew to a close, and the mourners shuffled off one by one. But Yuuya stayed behind. Leone stayed with him, and the two stood in silence for a minute or two. But then Yuuya’s shuddering escalated to full body tremors as he started sobbing. His legs gave out and he fell to his hands and knees, wailing into the dirt of his little brother’s freshly made grave.

Leone knelt down and pulled the hurting dove into his arms. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he remained silent, awkwardly rubbing Yuuya’s back as he cried into Leone’s chest.  Eventually the sobs slowed, and stopped altogether. Yuuya pulled away. “I… I should go,” he choked out. He still wouldn’t make eye contact.

“Yeah,” Leone replied, “You probably shouldn’t stay here too much longer. But you shouldn’t go alone. How about we head to a bar? I’ll buy.”

“Do I have a choice?” Yuuya asked, his voice flat and lifeless.

Leone shook his head. “I’m going to have to insist on this.”

“…Fine,” Yuuya conceded. Yuuya reluctantly followed Leone to his car, and the uncomfortable silence followed them until they got to the bar. It was past five, so it was already pretty noisy once they got in.

“I’ll have a rum and coke,” Leone said after he sat down at the bar.

Yuuya took the stool next to him. “Give me your cheapest whisky. Neat. And leave the bottle.”

Leone gave him a curious glance. Normally Yuuya’d order some fruity drink like a cosmo or a fuzzy navel. But then, that was when he wanted to have fun and enjoy his drink. Now though, Yuuya just wanted to get drunk.

And drunk Yuuya got. It wasn't long before his head started drooping, like he could barely keep it off the table. "You know... you know what the worst part is?” Yuuya asked, his words slurring together. “I never told him. I never told him the truth. He died hating me because I never told him. But maybe... maybe he would hate me even more if I did tell him." Yuuya slammed back another drink.

"Tell him what?" Leone asked.

"Doesn't matter. You wouldn't care. Nobody really cares. Not about me Never did. But how can anyone care about something that's not real? Everything I was, everything I am, it's all a lie, all an act. You can't care about something that's make-believe, and if you do, your feelings are just fake.

"You know that's not true. _I_ cared about you. I still do. And I was the one person who was able to see through all your bullshit."

Yuuya let out a short, sad laugh. "Maybe you're right, maybe you're right. Maybe you're the closest who's ever come to liking me." Yuuya turned toward the Cockatiel and leaned in close. "You want to know a secret?" he whispered. "I liked you too." Yuuya planted a wet, drunk kiss on Leone's lips.

Leone pulled away almost immediately, which was a good call, considering that Yuuya then proceeded to vomit all over himself. "Okay kid, I think you're done. Lets get you back home, alright?"

Yuuya mumbled incoherently as Leone paid the bartender. The cockatiel tried to mop up as much of the vomit as he could, but there was only so much he could do with bar napkins. Eventually he gave up and hoisted Yuuya up off the stool. The poor bird was so out of it that Leone had to practically drag him back to his car.

But Leone was a bright and massive agent, and getting a drunk, grieving dove safely buckled into the passenger seat was no big trial for him. "Where do you live, Sakazaki?"

Yuuya started sobbing in response.

Leone sighed. He fished Yuuya's wallet out of his pocket so that he could read the address off his ID. He was surprised to see that it was the same apartment he lived in as a high school student. Leone had moved at least five times since they last saw each other, so it was strange to think that Yuuya had stayed put for so long. At the very least, that meant Leone knew how to get there.

The car trip to the apartment was a bit louder than the trip to the bar, but not for conversation. Yuuya continued to cry uncontrollably, only stopping every once in a while to mutter something Leone couldn't make out. The kid was really was a mess. When they got to the building, Yuuya had completely blacked out, forcing Leone to have to carry him to his apartment. After fumbling to get Yuuya's keys out of his pocket, Leone managed to get through the poor bird's front door. The apartment was a mess, but that was no big surprise. Yuuya never cleaned unless he thought he was having company, and Leone was very much an unexpected guest.

The surprise came when Leone carried Yuuya into his bedroom. There was a pistol just sitting out on Yuuya's unmade bed. "Jesus, kid," Leone said as he laid the unconscious dove down on the bed. He then picked up the gun. It was loaded, and the safety was off. "What the hell, I taught you to be more careful than this." He then turned the safety on and removed the magazine. He dumped the bullets into the drawer of Yuuya's nightstand, but decided to tuck the gun away in his jacket. The last thing he needed was a sad, drunk dove with a gun, even if it was unloaded.

Leone turned Yuuya on his side, just in case he threw up again, and threw a blanket over him. "Do you mind if I crash here, kid?"

No response. But then, he wasn't really expecting one.

Leone sighed. He went into the living room and sat down on the couch. He touched two fingers to his lips, remembering. Sure, the kiss was awful, but it was because of the circumstances, rather than the person. Leone looked around the room at some of the more recent photographs. It was hard to tell in his current state, but Yuuya had grown into quite the handsome dove. Well, he was handsome back at St Pigeonations, but Leone didn't let himself have those kinds of thoughts. After all, Leone was his handler, and Yuuya was a kid besides.

"He's _still_ a kid," Leone mumbled. Sure, Yuuya was legally an adult, and had been for a while, but it was still wrong, right? Eleven years was too much of a difference, right? The old "half your age plus seven" guideline popped into his head. Well, Leone had turned 36 this year. Half of that was 18, and plus seven was...

Twenty-five. Which was exactly how old Yuuya was now.

Leone groaned and put a hand over his eyes. "Why am I thinking about this?" Yuuya was drunk. _Very_ drunk. And he was in mourning. He was sad, and probably lonely, and if Leone pursued anything into this, he would just be taking advantage of Yuuya, and he would never forgive himself for something like that.

He laid down on the couch, tried to drown the thoughts out of his head, and slowly drifted off to sleep.


	2. On the Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey, see that suicide warning up there in the tags? You might have missed it, since it wasn't there when I initially posted the previous chapter. Anyway, that warning specifically relates to this chapter, so if that's one of your triggers, I would definitely recommend not reading this, sorry!

Yuuya woke up with a horrible hangover. He rolled over slowly, trying his best to move his pounding head as little as possible. He looked over at the clock on his nightstand to see that it was already after 3 in the afternoon. There was also a large bottle of water next to the clock, along with a note. It read: "Drink this, you're going to need it. And I hope you don't mind that I crashed on your couch for the night. I should still be here when you get up, so don't hesitate to ask if there's something you need. -Leone"

It took a couple of moments before the words started making sense. "Leone...?" Bits and pieces of the night before filtered into his consciousness. A lot of drinking. A lot of crying. He thought that he threw up at one point. And before that... Just as the realization dawned on him, he immediately felt nauseous. He ran to the bathroom and made it to the toilet just as he emptied what little was left in his stomach.

Yuuya flushed the toilet, which made it hard to hear Leone coming up behind him. "How are you feeling?"

Yuuya was so surprised that he started dry heaving. After he was done, he looked back up at the bigger bird. "Like shit."

"Well, that's what happens when you try to drink half a bottle of Whiskey in two hours." Leone knelt down and offered him the bottle of water. "Drink this. But slowly, you don't want it coming back up again."

Yuuya grabbed the bottle and glared at him. "I'm not a kid anymore. I don't need someone to take care of me." He took a few cautionary sips despite his eagerness to be defiant.

Leone raised an eyebrow. "Just because you're not a kid doesn't mean that you don't need someone to take care of you. Especially if you're prone to getting _that_ drunk. Someone needs to be there to haul your ass away before you do something you regret."

"Did I... do something I would regret last night?" Yuuya asked hesitantly. If he was lucky, maybe he was just remembering things that he had dreamed up.

"Hmm... Maybe," Leone said as he rubbed his chin. "It was just a kiss though. I didn't let it go any farther than that."

"Oh my god..." Yuuya put his head back on the toilet seat, facing away from Leone.

"You were drunk, and you're grieving. It's okay, I'm not going to think into it too much. We can just pretend like it never happened."

"I... I need to go for a walk," Yuuya said as he forced himself off of the floor.

"Great, I could use some fresh air," Leone said.

Yuuya shook his head. "No, I'm going by myself. I need to be alone right now..."

"I'm not letting you go out alone in your state. I'm coming with you, and that's not negotiable. You're likely to fall into some ditch somewhere if I'm not there."

Yuuya sighed. "And you're just going to follow me if I try to leave without you, aren't you?"

Leone smirked. "You know me well."

Yuuya ignored him and headed for the front door.

"Are you sure you want to leave, looking like that?"

"What?" Yuuya looked down and realized he was wearing the same clothes as the night before. His funeral clothes. The ones caked in vomit. Yuuya grimaced as walked back into the bedroom to start peeling the soiled clothes off. "You let me sleep in these?"

Leone turned away from him as the dove started to strip. "After what happened last night, I thought that removing your clothes might send the wrong idea."

Yuuya groaned as struggled to get his pants off. "I thought you said you were going to pretend that never happened?"

"Right, sorry." Leone waited for Yuuya, expecting him to go past him into the bathroom to wash away the stink of puke and whiskey, but instead heard the front door open and slam. Leone spun around and sure enough, Yuuya was gone. "Dammit kid!" Leone hurriedly put his shoes on and went out the door after him.

When Leone got to the street, he couldn't catch a glimpse of Yuuya's tell tale blue hair. But he did see someone in a hoodie. In the middle of August. Who left a vomit-scented trail. Leone caught up to the dove and clapped a hand on his shoulder.

Yuuya spun around and glared at the man. Or at least, it _seemed_ like he was glaring. He was wearing blackout sunglasses, so it was hard to tell. "What the hell is your problem? I told you I wanted to be by myself!"

"I'm only looking after your best interest, kid."

"And I told you I'm not a fucking ki-- ugh" Yuuya sat down on the sidewalk and started rubbing his temples. All the movement and yelling was killing his head.

Leone knelt down beside him and produced a bottle of painkillers from his pocket. He held them out to Yuuya, along with the bottle of water Yuuya had left in the apartment. "Well, even adults know when to accept help when it's offered."

Yuuya snatched the bottles out of Leone's hands. He popped the pill cap and took two painkillers with a swig of water. He pocketed the pills and then threw the water back to Leone. After waiting a minute or two for the medicine to kick in, Yuuya got to his feet and continued his walk. His pace was considerably slower though, now that he knew he wouldn't be able to slip Leone again.

They walked along for about an hour in silence, with Yuuya in front and Leone trailing behind him. Then they started to cross a bridge, and Yuuya slowed to a stop in the middle. He turned and looked out on the river. He stayed there for a while, just watching as the water swirled around the bridge supports as it rushed out to meet the ocean, however many miles away. "The water," Yuuya finally said," It's calming, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Leone responded, glad that Yuuya was finally talking again, "It really is."

But Yuuya went silent again, his eyes focused on the river. Then his stomach growled.

Leone sighed. Yuuya hadn't had anything but whiskey and water since Leone had found him, which meant that he hadn't eaten since before the funeral. And Leone had a suspicion that the dove hadn't eaten much of anything before that, not after he found out his brother had died. "C'mon, Sakazaki. There's a nice little café on the other end of this bridge, so let me buy you something to eat."

Yuuya nodded absent mindedly and continued to walk toward the other end of the bridge.

When they got to the café, Yuuya had remained mute, so Leone had taken the liberty of ordering them both sandwiches and coffee. Leone had been pretty hungry himself, and he managed to finish his sandwich in a few bites. Yuuya however only took a few nibbles here and there, taking several breaks between bites to hold his coffee cup and stare despondently into its rapidly cooling contents. Leone had wanted to get something more substantial for the likely emaciated dove after the sandwich, but at this rate it would be miraculous if he even finished that.

But finally, Yuuya managed to choke down the last few bites with the last of his now cold coffee.  He got up to leave, and Leone got up to follow him; he had made sure to pay in advance so Yuuya wouldn’t be able to skip out on him again.

The journey back to Yuuya’s apartment was quiet and uneventful, with Yuuya only stopping on the bridge for a few seconds to look out over the water again. It was after 7 by the time they got back.

“I’m going to bed,” Yuuya said as he headed into his room.

“You should probably shower first,” Leone suggested, but Yuuya ignored him and shut his door. Even still, Leone heard the shower turn on a minute later. At least the boy was still open to _some_ suggestion. “Do you mind if I stay here another night?” Leone shouted, but he didn’t hear an answer. Well, if Yuuya had wanted him gone, he would have told him to leave right?

And Leone was prepared to make an extended stay if need be. He had packed a bag of clothes that would last him 7 days, longer if he visited a laundromat. He had felt it was overkill at the time to pack for such a long stay, but in his line of business, it was always good to be prepared. Especially considering Leone lived 5 hours away now, and he didn’t have a day to waste on travel to and from home to grab a clean set of clothes.

Of course, tomorrow was a Monday, which meant he would need to go into work, but as a senior agent not currently on assignment, it didn’t really matter which Dove Party branch he showed up at, as long as he showed up _somewhere_. He could just go to the branch that he reported to when on the St. Pigeonations job. That was likely the one that Yuuya still worked under, so if Leone went in he could get the bereavement leave paperwork for his former partner. He highly doubted Yuuya had gotten it for himself already, not in the state he was in, and there was no way he’d be ready to go back to work any time soon.

Leone waited until Yuuya was done in the bathroom so that he could take a shower himself. Then he decided to turn in early as well. While Yuuya would likely be sleeping all day, Leone had to get up early to make it into the office and deal with all the bureaucratic nonsense of temporarily switching branch offices. And sure enough, when Leone left the following morning, Yuuya was still fast asleep.

Although the Little Dove branch office was only 15 minutes away, and Leone had left the apartment at 6, he wasn't able to even get into the office proper until around 9. It took far to long for someone to show up and verify his identity, and even longer to process Leone's temporary transfer to the branch. The systems were so old, and the chain of command so disorganized, it was amazing that anything got done. When he finally got approval to be on the floor, he made a beeline for HR.

"I'm here on behalf of Yuuya Sakazaki," he told the clerk behind the desk.

"Sakazaki?" The clerk asked as he opened up the pertinent information on his computer display.

"His brother just died, and he'll need some time away to mentally recuperate. I'm just picking up his bereavement leave paperwork for him."

"Um..." The clerk looked confused as his eyes scanned the his monitor. "Sakazaki resigned five days ago."

Leone stood silent for a moment, dumbfounded. "What?"

"And he never returned his agency-issued firearm before he left. We tried calling him, but it looks like he disconnected his number. You're in contact with him though, right? Can you get him to return the gun to us?"

"I... I have it actually." Leone pulled Yuuya's pistol out of his secondary holster; he hadn't thought it wise to give the gun back to Yuuya just yet, so he had kept it with him since the night he took it. He handed it over to the relieved looking clerk.

"Oh, thank you! It's... J.B. Leone, right?"

But Leone didn't answer; he was lost in thought. Why did Yuuya resign so suddenly? And why would he disconnect his number? He watched dumbly as the clerk put the gun away.

And then the pieces clicked into place. The fact that Yuuya had left his loaded pistol on the bed. The reason why he wanted to go to that bridge by himself.

"Are you okay sir?" The clerk asked. "You look pale."

"I need to go," Leone mumbled, more to himself than to the clerk. He turned on his heel and made his way toward the exit. It was all he could do to keep himself from running, but that would draw too much attention. They would assume he's running _from_ something rather than _to_ something, and they'd detain him for questioning. And he couldn't be detained, not now. But once he got to the parking garage, he broke into a sprint toward the car, and from there, managed to get back to the apartment in half the time it had taken him to get to the office.

When he got to Yuuya's door, he found it unlocked. Leone didn't have a key, so he couldn't lock up when he left. Even in Yuuya's mental state, he would have locked the door if he had left; it was just too much of an ingrained habit. Leone tried to use this to calm himself down, tried to reason that Yuuya probably hadn't even gotten up yet. But when he checked the bedroom, the bed was empty.

"Shit!"

He ran to the bathroom, then the kitchen, but the dove was no where to be found. " _Shit!"_ This was bad. If he didn't know where Yuuya was, how could he...

He felt a breeze. He turned back toward the living room to see the window to the fire escape open. Without a thought, he jumped out onto the balcony and ran up the steps to the roof. When he got to the top, he saw him. "Yuuya!"

Yuuya's body tensed. "Don't come any closer!" he shouted, his voice choked with tears. He was standing on the ledge, his back to Leone.  
  
A streak of lightning cracked above, followed by a boom of thunder. And then the rain started.

"Yuuya, please think about what you're doing," Leone pleaded, inching toward the distraught young man despite his order to stay away.

"I have, Leone, I have. It's the only thing I've thought about since Sakuya..." Yuuya couldn't complete the sentence. "I thought about doing it after the funeral, but you got me drunk and took my gun away. I thought about doing it yesterday, but you wouldn't leave me alone. I thought about taking all those pills you gave me, to just go numb and drift off into nothingness, but that would have been too easy. He... he burned alive. He died in pain. He died afraid. He died _alone_. I need to feel that. I need to feel _this_."

"I know how much you loved him," Leone said, slowly closing the gap between them. "I know how hard this is for you, but you have to realize that you have so much more to live for."

"No I don't! Everything I did, everything was for him. Even joining the Doves, I only did that to make the world a better place, for him, and to have access to resources to keep an eye on him, to keep him safe. But it wasn't enough. I couldn't protect him, and now he's dead. And I can't even seek vengeance for him since they already caught the bastard who murdered him! There's nothing for me here, not anymore..."

"What about your friends? The people who care about you?"

"My friends? What friends? Every relationship I've ever had has been predicated on lies, all to protect the secrets of the Party. And if anyone got too close to me, close enough to see how thin the lies got, I had to cut them from my life. The only reason it ever seemed to you like I had 'friends' was because I had that ridiculous school idol persona while at St Pigeonations. But none of it was real. _I_ wasn't real. Sure, people might notice at first if I were to disappear. But then my memory would fade into the background, because no one actually cares enough about me to miss me."

"And what about _me_?"

"What _about_ you? You haven't been in my life for over six years. Why are you even here? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"I'm sorry, I should have tried harder to stay in contact. But _you_ were the one who broke ties with _me._ You told me that you needed to mature and grow on your own, and you had to distance yourself from me in order to do that. I respected that decision, and waited for you to find yourself and reconnect with me. But you never did. I thought that you had moved on, but I hadn't. I thought about you, worried about you, more than you could ever know. So don't you dare say no one cares. I _love_ you for god's sake!"

"W-what?" Yuuya finally started to turn around, but he moved too quickly on the rain-slicked stone and lost his balance. " _Fuck!"_ He started falling back, toward the edge of the building.

Leone leapt across the last few feet separating them and grabbed Yuuya's outstretched arm, yanking him back toward safety. But he pulled too hard, and Yuuya crashed into him, sending both of them sprawling to the ground.

Having taken the brunt of the fall, it took Leone a moment to recover. When he opened his eyes, Yuuya was already sitting up, staring at him expectantly.

"You... you said you... _loved_ me?" The younger bird asked.

Leone forced himself into a sitting position. "Of course I do. Even when you were a kid, I couldn't help but find myself loving you like you were my own son."

"Oh, that's what you... _Of course_ that's what you meant." Yuuya looked away with dejection.

"Yuuya, look at me." Leone leaned toward him and cupped his hand under the dove's chin. Yuuya's eyes shifted back toward Leone's, and slowly the realization dawned on him. Leone grinned and leaned the rest of the way in to kiss him. Leone still had his reservations about taking advantage of Yuuya in his fragile state, but he knew his old friend needed this far more than Leone just wanted it. He would just have to be careful and take it slow.

Yuuya closed his eyes and moaned a little when Leone's lips brushed against his own. And in an instant, it was over, a far more chaste kiss than the kind Yuuya was used to giving or receiving, but it felt so much better. It felt _real_. The smallest hint of a smirk came to Yuuya's lips. "You just said you loved me as if I were your son, and then you kiss me? You have some odd kinks, old man."

Leone rolled his eyes. “That’s how I felt about you when you were a kid, you moron. But now… Now I see that you’ve become a handsome and capable young man. I saw a little of that in you the last time we were together, but you’ve really come into your own since then. You’ve become someone I can admire, someone I can be proud of, even if you yourself can’t see that in you.”

Despite everything, Yuuya found himself smiling. In that one instance, everything else faded away, and for the first time in a long time, he even felt _happy_.

But that moment of euphoria vanished just as quickly as it appeared. Lightning cracked above, snapping Yuuya back into reality. The rain had soaked through his clothes, and he became painfully aware of how cold he was, how empty. His brother was dead, and there was nothing he could do to change that. And if it hadn’t been for Leone, for this man that Yuuya had turned his back on so many years ago, Yuuya would have killed himself.

Leone’s heartfelt words were pretty, and even a little uplifting, but they didn’t change anything. Yuuya still had no purpose; with Sakuya died the only reason Yuuya maintained his miserable existence. Love or not, Leone couldn’t save Yuuya. He could keep him alive, keep him from committing suicide, but Yuuya was already broken.

Yuuya opened his mouth to say something, but only a strangled sound escaped as he collapsed into wracking sobs. Leone pulled him close in a protective embrace, but part of Leone knew it was futile. Not even Leone could protect Yuuya from the demons in his head.


	3. TRUTH

Yuuya stared down into his soup and shivered. Despite the hot soup, Leone sitting next to him, and the heavy blanket wrapped around the both of them, Yuuya just couldn't get warm. Though it wouldn't be surprising if he got sick on top of everything else, considering how poorly he had been treating his body the past few days.

Leone leaned forward and picked something off of the coffee table. "Is this today?"

Yuuya looked over to see him reading a letter of invitation to the Le Bel manor, for the reading of Sakuya's will. "Yeah, I think so."

"It's in three hours. You should probably start getting ready soon."

Yuuya stared back at his soup. "Why?"

"Yuuya..."

Yuuya pulled the blanket tighter around him as another shiver went down his spine. "Sakuya hated me. There's no point in going because he wouldn't have left me anything." That, and he didn't want to see the Le Bels. When he last saw them, they almost didn't let him into the funeral, but finally conceded to his presence, so long as he stayed hidden in the back. He didn't want to deal with anymore of their unpleasantness, not when he felt like this.

"They don't send you an invitation unless your name appears in the will."

"Then he must have left me something insignificant, something to insult me one last time." But Yuuya knew Sakuya hadn't been that cruel. He had been more prone to ignore Yuuya than to go out of his way to torment him. Even still, finding out what was in the will scared him more than he cared to admit.

Leone sighed. "Alright. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Yuuya tightened his grip on the blanket while thinking it over. He was scared, but he also knew he would regret never finding out what Sakuya's final wishes were. "...If I go... will you come with me?" he asked, his eyes welling up.

Leone pulled him in close and kissed his forehead. "Of course I will." Truth be told, Leone was going regardless of whether or not he was invited. After what happened on the roof, he wasn't willing to let Yuuya out of his sight.

Yuuya took a deep, shaky breath. "Okay. I'll go." He untangled himself from the blanket so that he could get up and change out of his wet clothes.

Leone did likewise. He didn't really care about impressing Yuuya's inlaws, but at the same time, he knew it would reflect badly on Yuuya if he showed up looking like a drowned rat.

"Are you ready to go?" Leone asked, as Yuuya came out of his room wearing a nice, and more importantly dry, set of dress clothes.

"Y-yeah." Yuuya was shaking.

Leone took both of Yuuya's hands in his own. "We don't need to stay any longer than you want to. Just give me the word, and I'll get you out of there whenever you want, no questions asked."

Yuuya nodded, fighting down the urge to just go back to bed for the rest of the day. But he knew that he had to do this.

Leone let go of one of Yuuya's hands so that he could get the door, but he held firmly on to the other until they got down to the car.

Once they got to the manor, Leone offered his hand again, and Yuuya gladly took it. The Le Bel Manor had always been an oppressive place, even when Yuuya had his cocky confidence, when he wasn't the emotional mess he was now. With his hand in Leone's, he felt a little more grounded, and it was a constant reassurance that he wasn't alone in this hostile space. He wasn't the only unwanted outsider.

And it wasn't long before Leone's presence was appreciated. One of the Le Bel twins approached them in a huff. "Who said you could bring a guest, Sakazaki?"

Leone stepped forward and glared at the pompous fantail. "I'm here for moral support. Do you have problem with that?"

Leone was an impressively large man, and it was easy for him to appear intimidating, or even downright scary. The spoiled dove opened his mouth to protest, but he was so flustered that he just left in embarrassment. Leone gently squeezed Yuuya's hand. He wouldn't let any of these rich assholes harass him ever again.

When they got to the office where the will was to be read, the security tried to bar Leone's entry, but he got them to back down almost as easily as the Le Bel twin. The two of them took their seats and waited until all the heirs filed into the room.

Yuuya took a cursory glance around the room and only saw his mother and the other Le Bel siblings. His brother must have had just as much luck as Yuuya with retaining friends.

Once everyone was accounted for, the lawyer started. "Before I begin the reading of Sakuya Le Bel Shirogane's last will and testament, I would just like to state, for the record, that I am reading Shirogane's words as they appear, completely uncensored or changed in anyway." And with that disclaimer out of the way, the lawyer pulled out the document containing Sakuya's last wishes. "'After each heir receives their inheritance, they are to leave the room. The officiant reading my testament is to wait until each heir is escorted out before continuing on to the next heir. Lastly, my will is to be read in my office in the Le Bel manor.

"'To my mother, Madame Shirogane, I leave whatever items she wishes from the personal collection she shared with her husband, as well as a total sum of 100 million yen, so that she may live out the rest of her life comfortably.'"

Yuuya's mother nodded and made to stand up, but she stumbled, clearly drunk. Yuuya wondered if she had ever stopped drinking since the funeral.

After one of the security guards helped the Madame out and closed the door, the lawyer continued. "And to Monsieur Le Bel's remaining children...'" All the Le Bel's had smug smiles on their faces. It made Yuuya feel sick and angry that they cared so little for his precious little brother. But then, the eldest of them had been the one to murder Sakuya, not to mention what their father had done. Remorse was not a trait the Le Bel line possessed. "'...I leave the contents of the septic tank, to be divided evenly.'"

" _What?!"_ Sakuya's sister shrieked, jumping to her feet.

"This is an outrage!" One of the twins shouted.

"As I said," the lawyer said with a flat voice, "I am merely reading the words as they appear." He returned his eyes to the document. "'Upon hearing their allotted inheritance, the Le Bel children are to be escorted off the manor's property, and are barred from ever returning.'"

"You'll pay for this!" One of the siblings shouted at the lawyer. It took a while for the security to herd the enraged birds out of the room and off the property, but eventually the shrill birds were gone, and it was finally quiet.

In the meantime, Yuuya was having a panic attack. Yuuya's former assumption about Sakuya not being cruel had been shattered. If that was what Sakuya had left his pureblood, noble siblings, what horror awaited _him?_ He wanted to leave, to bolt out the door and not look back, and if it hadn't been for Leone holding and squeezing his hand, he would have.

When the door closed, the lawyer started reading again. Yuuya held his breath. “’…And to my brother, Yuuya Sakazaki, I leave the entire Le Bel estate and all of its holdings.’”

The room started spinning before Yuuya’s eyes. “… _What_ …?”

“’He is also to receive the note enclosed with my will, and the officiant is to leave him, alone, in my office.’” The lawyer paused for a moment. “Er, sir, are you alright?”

Yuuya suddenly became aware that the lawyer was standing in front of him, holding out a folded piece of paper. “I-I…” Yuuya started hyper ventilating as tears streamed down his face.

Leone quickly took the note and shoved the Lawyer toward the door. “I’ll take it from here.”

The lawyer gave the both of them a curious glance, but then left the office just the same.

As soon as the door closed, Leone turned his chair to face Yuuya and pulled the bird into his lap so that his head rested on Leone’s chest. “Concentrate on my breathing. Try to match yours to mine. Don’t think about anything else.”

Yuuya gripped the front of Leone’s shirt as he tried to calm himself down. Eventually, he was able to slow his breathing down to match Leone’s. “…I don’t understand,” Yuuya finally said. “He… hated me. Why would he…”

Leone unfolded the note and showed it to Yuuya. “This might give you some answers.”

Yuuya looked at the note:  
_File name: TRUTH  
Password: That dumb phrase Yuuya used to say in high school_

“Is… is this a computer file?” Yuuya asked, perplexed. There was a computer monitor on the desk the lawyer had been sitting at. He tried to stand up, but he was shaking so badly that Leone had to practically carry him to the other side of the desk.

Yuuya sat down in the desk chair, booted up the computer, and sure enough, a program file with the name TRUTH was on the desktop.

“Do you know what to do?” Leone asked as he pulled up a chair next to him.

“I… I think so.” But before he tried anything, Yuuya saw a box of tissues on the desk. He grabbed a few to wipe away the tears and snot covering his face. He took a few deep breaths to help prepare himself, and then clicked on the file. When it asked for a password, Yuuya typed in _sexyandsuave._

The file opened, and Yuuya was presented with four video files. He hesitated, his hand shaking, before he clicked on the first video.

Sakuya's face appeared on screen. "Hello, Yuuya," Sakuya said with a warm smile. Yuuya clapped a hand over his mouth as his eyes filled with tears.

"If you're watching this, then I suppose I must be dead." Sakuya chuckled, but it sounded forced. "That's a little morbid to think about, right? I mean, I'm only 24. But then, my father got sick and died so suddenly, so it's always good to be prepared. And I'd have to do this whether I die tomorrow or sixty years from now, so why not now? I just... I just needed to make sure you hear this, even if I don't get to tell you in person.

"Today was Father's funeral. I was in a daze the entire time, barely aware of what was going on around me. You probably thought that was because I was overwhelmed by grief. And when you took my hands into yours and told me you were there for me, and that I could ask you for anything, you must have assumed it was me rejecting you again when I pulled my hands back and looked away. But that wasn't it. I was just surprised, and didn't know what to say. And I was lost in thought not because of grief, but because of the photographs displayed around the room. Pictures of my father from throughout his lifetime. And... I couldn't help but notice that I look absolutely nothing like him."

Sakuya bowed his head and folded his hands in front of his face. Then he started shaking. When he finally lifted his head, his eyes were filled with tears. "I know that I've been pretty gullible over the years. I believed all the ridiculous stories Mother told me about Japan. I believed anything Tosaka or Kawara said about ninjas... I even believed Father when he told me you were a bad person. But I'm not so stupid that I can't notice when something's wrong.

"The night Father died, Mother drank too much wine, and started saying things she would never say sober. She was grieving, but not over my father. She was grieving over _your_ father. And she..." Sakuya took a deep, shaky breath, and tears started rolling down his cheeks. "She told me I'm a _disappointment_ , that I wasn't worth the death of her first husband and her child.

"I was hurt. I was really hurt. But more than that, I was confused. The death of her child? But you were still alive! When I asked her what she meant, she told me about the egg. And then she showed me this." Sakuya held up a photograph that made Yuuya gasp. It was a family portrait of Yuuya, his mother, his father... and the egg. It was the last photo ever taken of his father... and the last time Yuuya remembered ever being really happy. "You look a lot like him," Sakuya said, while trying to force a smile. But the attempt quickly wavered. "...And so do I." Sakuya dropped the photo and started sobbing into his hands.

After a moment, Sakuya calmed down enough to continue. "Mother said she couldn't understand why you cared so much about me, because I was the one who ruined your family. She even said they made you destroy the egg... made you kill the child inside. But that's not what happened, is it?"

Sakuya pulled out a small ocarina and showed it to the camera. "Mother said you used to play this for me when I was little. It's... the only thing I could find of yours at the manor. I took it and one of Father's toothbrushes to a DNA lab yesterday. I got the results back today, after the funeral. They said... they said that there were two sets of DNA on the ocarina. They were old, but it was still enough for them to tell me that one set belonged to my brother. My _full blooded_ brother. And the other one... from my father..." Sakuya closed his eyes, trying and failing to hold back the new wave of tears. "I guess it goes without saying that the toothbrush didn't match anything."

Sakuya opened his eyes, but was staring at the ceiling rather than back at the camera. "At first I was angry. 'Why didn't you tell me?' But then I realized, you were protecting me, weren't you? If anyone found out about this, it would be dangerous for both of us. And if I never knew, there was no chance of me accidently revealing the truth. And also... you knew that finding out about this would destroy my world. Growing up, my pride as a Le Bel was a major facet of my identity. Even now..."

Sakuya shook his head. "Everything you've ever done was to protect me, I realize that now. Even though my father made your life a living hell, you always went out of your way to make sure I was okay. And I treated you like dirt for it." Sakuya started sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Yuuya. I'm so sorry. When I saw you today, I so badly wanted to talk to you, to tell you everything. But I'm a coward. I'm afraid to face all the horrible things I've done and said to you over the years. I'm afraid to ask for your forgiveness, because I know I don't deserve it. All I can do is make this video that you won't even see until I'm dead, if even at all, because I'm too scared to talk to you. Yuuya, I..." Sakuya shook his head and turned off the camera.

"I'm the one who should be begging for forgiveness," Yuuya said with a wavering voice. He had been crying the entire way through the video. "I should have told you the truth. I'm so, so sorry, Sakuya."

He clicked on the next video.

"Hi again, Yuuya," Sakuya said, once more smiling and clear eyed. "Today was the reading of my father's will. As expected, He left everything to me, the 'true heir' of the Le Bel family. My siblings weren't very happy about that. They even made a comment about how they'd just have to wait until I died to get anything. And that..." Sakuya shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "That actually really scared me. I think they meant it as a joke, but then, they ARE the children of the man who killed your... _our_ father just so that he could marry Mother and have a better bred legacy. Or at least, that's what mother suggested when she was drunk. And for the first time, i don't think she was making this up.

"Anyway, it scared me enough to stay behind in the law office, after everyone else had left, and write up my own will. That way... that way, if they _do_ try and kill me, those parasites won't get a cent." Sakuya put on a brave, confident face, but Yuuya could still see the fear in his eyes. "I'm leaving a little money for Mother, but I'm giving everything else to you."

Sakuya smiled. "I know you don't care about the money. I still remember back at St Pigeonations, someone told me that they saw you digging around in the garbage. I don't know why I cared then when I never cared before but... I tried giving you a little money, so you wouldn't have to eat out of the trash anymore. But then the next day, you gave it back. You thanked me, but said you couldn't take my money. And then you winked at me and said you wouldn't refuse though if I invited you out to eat, so that we could talk and catch up." Sakuya laughed a little. "I was so mad that I dropped you through the trapdoor in the student council room. I didn't realize it at the time, but you were the only one who..." Sakuya's eyes started filling with tears. "You were the only one who genuinely wanted to spend time with me. Everyone else just pretended to like me because they wanted something out of it. It always ended with them asking for money. And you... you wouldn't even take money when it was _given_ to you. You never asked for anything but my company, but that was the one thing I wouldn't give you..."

"...Anyway, I know you'll find someone who needs the money. I would recommend a charity, but I'm so out of touch with the real world that I wouldn't know what would actually be a worthwhile cause. But you would. You're the selfless one after all." Sakuya wiped the tears out of his eyes and smiled. "Bye, Yuuya." Then the video ended.

Yuuya nodded. "You can count on me, Sakuya. I'll make sure your money goes where it's needed." He then clicked on the third video.

"Hey Yuuya." Sakuya looked nervous. "I, uh, I just got a letter from someone who says they represent the Hawk Party."

Yuuya felt his pulse quicken. "Apparently my father gave them regular, generous donations, and they were inquiring as to whether I would continue my father's participation in the organization. The letter also mentioned you. They said... they said that you were an enemy, an agent of the Dove Party. They wrote about some of the things you had done. They phrased them like they were bad things but..." Sakuya smiled. "I couldn't help but think of you as a hero. The Hawks want to destroy humanity, and I'm not surprised my father was involved with them. But the Doves... they actively work toward peace between birds and humans. And I'm proud that my brother chose that side.

"You're so strong and brave to do what you do, risking your life to do what you know is right. I wish I could be even half as brave... But I barely have the courage to send a letter back to them saying 'I'm not sure' rather than a definite 'no.' And I'm still afraid to call you, to tell you how much I admire you. One day, maybe I will. But for today, I'll just have to make due with this video. Bye Yuuya." And then the third video ended.

"I did it all for you, Sakuya," Yuuya said, smiling despite the tears in his eyes. He moved the cursor over the last video, but hesitated. He took a deep breath and then clicked.

"Good morning, Yuuya." Sakuya was wearing another forced smile. "Tonight's the night that they formally recognize me as the head of the Le Bel household and the company, and..." Sakuya dropped his face into his hands and started shuddering. When he looked up, there were already tears running down his face. "...And I'm terrified.

"The shareholders of the company and the heads of the branch families think I'm too young and inexperienced, and that I'll fail, and they're not going to put much support behind me. I'm on my own, and I have no idea what I'm doing. And everyone would rather I fail then help me."

Sakuya hugged his arms to himself. "And I wish that was the worst of it, but... it seems like every time I pass by a group of Le Bels, they're always whispering to each other, but they stop and glare once they notice me. Some though, some _grin._ All I can think of when I see them is the 'joke' my siblings made about inheriting everything if I die. Sakuya shuddered. "And then I got another letter from the Hawks. It said, 'If you're not willing to support our cause, we will find someone who will.'" Sakuya started hyper ventilating.

"I'm... I'm so scared. Tonight's the night that everything becomes official. If someone wants me dead, tonight's the night it would happen. I'm so close to just cancelling everything and giving up, but that won't change anything. I'll still be the heir, and they'll still want to kill me.

"I just wish you would call me. I promise this time I _will_ answer. I just want to hear your voice... I want to hear my Big Brother tell me everything's going to be okay..."

Sakuya just sat there, sobbing. He pulled his knees up and hugged them to his chest. Then he took a few deep, shaky breaths before he returned to sitting properly in his chair. He forced another smile. "I'm just being paranoid, right? This... this will all work out. I'll go to the party, become head of the family, and then come back home. People will be mad, but they won't do anything to hurt me. I... I have to believe that.

"And then, when the party's done, when I realize all my fears are for nothing... I'll call you. I promise, after all this is over, I'll call you. And then we can talk, I can show you these dumb videos, and you can make fun of me for how scared I got."

Sakuya closed his eyes, willing himself to not break down again. When he opened them again, he looked a little more content. "I love you, Yuuya. I'll talk to you later."

And then the video ended.

Yuuya just sat there, frozen, as the tears ran down his face. Then he slowly moved the cursor to the very end of the video's load bar and clicked.  
  
"I love you, Yuuya. I'll talk to you later."

Click.

"I love you, Yuuya."

Click, click, click, click, click.

Each time he heard his brother tell him he loved him, Yuuya shuddered. The shuddering grew worse and worse until he was bawling uncontrollably. "I... I love you too, Sakuya," he choked out.

He clicked a little earlier on the video.

"I want to hear my Big Brother tell me everything's going to be okay."

"It's going to be okay. I promise, Little Brother, everything's going to be..."

Yuuya jumped when he felt another hand on his hand; he had completely forgotten that Leone was next to him. He turned to face the other man and a strangled sound escaped his throat when he saw Leone's tear stained face. In all their years working together, Yuuya had never seen Leone get so much as misty-eyed. For him to cry now... the world really must have gone to shit.

"It's not okay..." Yuuya sobbed as he collapsed into Leone's arms. "It's never going to be okay!"

"He knew you loved him," Leone croaked out. Yuuya had never heard his voice sound like that before. "And now you know he loved you too."

_"It's not enough!"_ Yuuya shrieked. "It's not enough..."

"It never is..."


	4. Closure

"Stop the car here," Yuuya said. It had been a year since Sakuya had died, and Leone had agreed to take Yuuya to the road where his brother lost his life. So much had happened, so much that Yuuya wanted to tell Sakuya, but he knew he couldn't. All that was left of his little brother was a wooden cross on the side of the road. But it would have to be enough. Getting out of the apartment and talking to that silly little memorial was better than staying in bed all day.

Leone slowed the car to a stop. "Are you sure? We're still about a half mile away."

"I know. I... I just want to be alone for this."

Yuuya went to open the door, but Leone grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Yuuya," he said softly. Yuuya looked back at him, and the older man leaned in for a kiss. When Leone pulled away, he brushed the hair out of Yuuya's face, and then kept his hand cupped under Yuuya's chin. "Just remember that you have someone to come back to, okay?"

Yuuya looked away and nodded. "I know. Don't worry, I won't do anything stupid."

"Yeah well, if that ends up changing, just call me." Leone let go of Yuuya's face so that he could pull out a cigar. "If you need me for anything, anything at all, I'll be there in an instant."

Yuuya nodded again and left the car. A chill wind blew through and made him shiver. It was far too cold out for August. And the cold just made the place seem more grim and somber. It was a lonely, winding road through the woods that rarely saw usage. It led up to a private vacation home, a place Sakuya never made it to that night. But despite the cold and despite the hard lump in Yuuya's stomach, he moved forward until he made it to his destination.

The cross really was simple, just two pieces of wood bound together and stuck in the dirt on the side of the road. It was almost too simple, especially for someone with Sakuya's elegance. But then... maybe he would have wanted it that way. After he had found out his true origins, maybe he wouldn't have wanted all that unnecessary luxury.

Yuuya took a shaky breath and pulled an ocarina out of his pocket. It was the same one that had led Sakuya to the truth. He put it to his lips and started to play an old nursery rhyme. When the song was over, he put the instrument away. "Sorry, that wasn't very good, was it?" Yuuya shook his head and tried to force a smile. "I... didn't get much time to practice. It would have sounded better if I had brought my saxophone, but I figured the ocarina would mean more, you know? I used to play that song for you when you were little. I don't know if you would remember..."

Yuuya choked back a sob as tears quickly filled his eyes. With a shaky voice, he forced himself to continue. "I sold the mansion and everything else you left me. I kept a little bit of the money for myself, so I guess I'm not as selfless as you thought. It wasn't a lot but... Anyway, I donated most of it to a charity called "Music for Everybirdie." It's an organization that tries to get kids interested in playing instruments, and especially helps the poorer kids to get access to instruments since their families can't normally afford them. I... I think you would have liked that.

"And... and I have a boyfriend. His name is Leone, and he's waiting for me down the road a little. Maybe I'll bring him with me next time so you can meet him. Well, meet him again. He was actually the janitor at St Pigeonations, but that's a long story. He... He saved my life. So many times and in so many ways..."

Tears were now flowing freely down Yuuya's face. "I almost killed myself, Sakuya. And if it hadn't been for Leone... I know you thought I was strong and brave, but I'm not. I'm a coward, and so incredibly weak. You were the only reason I kept moving forward. You were my baby brother, and I had to protect you at all costs. That's why I joined the Doves, to make this world a safer place. For you.

"...But then you died. And without you, I didn't have a purpose anymore. You were the only thing that gave my miserable existence any meaning, so I..." Yuuya's words were cut off as he started sobbing and hyper ventilating. It took a minute or so before he could calm down. "Leone... Leone came just at the right time. Like a guardian angel. He talked me off the edge, quite literally, and he's stayed with me since. He helped me until I could find a new purpose.

"I... I'm going to be a musician. I know that was always your dream, but... When I gave all your money to that charity, they were so happy that they insisted that they teach me to play something. I complied, just to be nice, but I ended up really liking it. But then, I guess I did like playing my ocarina for you when we were kids, and Dad used to play it for me when he was alive... Music must be in our blood.

"Anyway, I should probably get going. Leone's waiting for me... I promise I'll come back. I'll get better at music and play for you. And I'll keep trying to make myself a better person. One day... one day, I hope I can make you proud."

Yuuya turned and started heading back to the car.

"I'm already proud of you."

Yuuya froze. It wasn't possible. He had to be hallucinating or something, right? He slowly turned around, and sure enough, there he was. He was standing near a large tree, just behind the cross. His hair was longer and pulled back in a ponytail, and tears stained his normally confident face, but there was no mistaking him. "Are you a ghost? Or am I finally losing my mind?"

Sakuya shook his head. "Neither." Sakuya started walking slowly toward him, stopping once he got to the edge of the street. "It seems that, when you have a lot of money, it's pretty easy to fake your own death."

Yuuya just stared at him. "You're alive?"

A thin smile came to Sakuya's lips as he nodded.

Yuuya's hands balled into fists. 'Why didn't you tell me?!" he shouted at him, angry tears spilling down his face.

"I'm sorry! I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so much, but I..."

"And you just lied directly to my face! In that video... I'll have to hand it to you though, that was pretty fucking convincing. Deception must run in the family."

"Yuuya, I swear I wasn't lying, not then! I didn't even know that I was going to fake my death until after I finished that video."

"Bullshit! You 'died' that day. There's no way you could orchestrate something that big on a whim in just a couple of hours."

"Yuuya, please, just let me explain..."

_Sakuya shut off the webcam, but then the tears came back, and wouldn't stop. It was fine. Everything was going to be fine. He had to keep telling himself that. He_ had _to get through tonight, and then everything would get easier. He could finally start a relationship with Yuuya, and..._

_"Master Sakuya."_

_Sakuya jumped. He frantically looked around the room until he saw Albert standing in the corner. How long had he been there?_

_"Forgive me for eavesdropping, but you are right to worry for your life. I have uncovered an assassination plot for you tonight."_

_Sakuya gripped his armrests as hard as he could and prayed the world would stop spinning. "What... What do I do?" Was there anything he_ could _do? He didn't want to die, not now, not before he could even speak with Yuuya again._

_"If I may suggest, one cannot kill someone who is already dead."_

_"...What?" A cold sweat ran down the back of Sakuya's neck. It was true that he had hired Albert to kill him, but he hadn't given him the signal. Was his "butler" finally going to end the charade and kill Sakuya himself? Maybe this was the assassination plot all along..._

_"If you fake your death, sir, no one will think to kill you, for they will believe you to already be dead."_

_"Fake my..." What in the world? Sakuya had important things he had to do, an important person he had to reconcile with. He couldn't just pretend he was dead and let that all erode away. "No. There has to be some other option!"_

_"Master Sakuya, tonight, everyone will believe you are dead. It's just a matter of whether you wish that to be a true belief or not."_

_Sakuya's eyes welled up with tears again. He really was trapped, wasn't he? "How would I even do this? The party's tonight. There's not enough time..."_

_"Do not worry about that, Master Sakuya. I have already prepared a contingency plan for you." Albert approached Sakuya's desk, and Sakuya noticed that he was holding a large duffel bag. He deposited the bag in front of Sakuya and unzipped it, revealing a large amount of cash._

_Sakuya's eyes widened in surprise. "Where did you..."_

_"It seems your father kept this stowed away in case of an emergency. I found it in a hidden safe in the manor. And as you are your father's heir, his money is now yours."_

_Sakuya was about to ask the crow what he had been doing snooping around the manor, and how he managed to even get into the safe, but he realized that he probably didn't want nor need to know the answers to those questions._

_Luckily, Albert had more to say, which prevented Sakuya from asking about something he'd regret. "I took the liberty of taking half of what was in this bag, both to set up your escape plan and to pay me for my services. The remainder should still be sufficient for you to live comfortably once this is all done. What will you do, Master Sakuya?"_

_Sakuya took a deep breath and closed his eyes, but it didn't stop the tears from leaking through and falling down his cheeks. "I guess... I guess I'm going to fake my death tonight."_

_The hours dragged as Sakuya waited until the time when he would "die." He kept staring down at his phone, hoping,_ praying _that Yuuya would call him. Sakuya would have just called him himself, but Albert warned him not to talk to anyone about the plan tonight, and he knew that if he called him it would all come out. Of course, if Yuuya were the one to call, Sakuya would_ still _likely confess everything, but at least he could pretend like he was trying._

_Finally, four thirty came, and Sakuya was in his car, heading to the party house, not completely sure what Albert had planned. The crow had dosed his normal chauffer's drink with something, forcing the man to go home sick and making it easy for Albert to replace him for the night._

_About halfway up the winding road to the party house, the car came to a stop. Sakuya looked out the window and saw a portly old man standing next to a beat up van. It seemed like he had been waiting for them... Sakuya's heart rate soared. Was this part of Albert's plan? Or was this part of the assassination plot?_

_But then Albert got out of the car and greeted the old man. They seemed to know each other, which made Sakuya feel a little more at ease. Albert motioned for Sakuya to get out of the car, so the terrified dove did._

_"So this is the man of the hour, huh? I'm Jory, a friend of your butler here. How ya doing, kid?" The old man said._

_"Er..." Sakuya looked away and couldn't bring himself to say anything._

_Jory sighed. "Well, with the pleasantries out of the way, lets get to work. We'll need to be fast, lest someone shows up and blows the whole thing." Jory opened the side door to his van, and a dead man tumbled out._

_Sakuya jumped back with a yelp. "What-- What is--"_

_Jory laughed as he Albert picked the man up and started carrying him over to Sakuya's car. "We're faking a death here, aren't we? Can't do that without a couple of bodies, can we?"_

_No no no, did Albert kill someone for this? Just so that he could do this? Sakuya felt sick. "You... you killed him... just for this?"_

_"Don't worry about it kid," Jory said reassuringly. "These guys were part of another assignment. They were going to die regardless, and there's no sense in wasting two good dead bodies, right?"_

_"Wait, there's two?!" Sakuya started feeling dizzy. What the hell had he gotten himself into?_

_"Of course there's two! Need one for the driver, and one for you, right? Well, just don't think too much about it. Just go sit over there and let us take care of it."_

_Sakuya obeyed and went over to the side of the road to sit down. He tried to clear his head, to think of something much more pleasant, but Jory had a nasty hacking cough that kept pulling Sakuya back into the present situation._

_Before too long, Albert came to get him. It was done._

_Sakuya tried to avoid looking, but he couldn't help sneaking a peak at the dead man that would play his part. Sakuya turned pale. "...He looks nothing like me. He looks nothing like me! How the hell is this going to work?"_

_Jory lit a cigarette. "Well, it won't matter much what he looks like now once I blow the car up."_

_"...What?"_

_The old man sighed. "Albert didn't tell you much, did he? Well, first we're gonna blow your car up. Then I'm gonna let myself get caught, and I'm going to implicate your oldest brother as the man who hired me to kill you. Then you get to skip off to some cabin in the woods somewhere and live it up as a rich hermit. Sound good?"_

_"My... brother? Why bring him into this?"_

_"Because, kid, he_ did _pay me to kill you."_

_The world started to spin again. "I don't understand! Why would you betray him? Especially if it means that you'll get arrested?"_

_"Look kid, I'm old. I've done a lot of bad things, most I don't regret, but..." Jory smiled ironically. "But the one thing I regret most is a job Monsieur Le Bel gave me way back when. I'm sure you've figured it out by now, but I'm a hitman. I'm used to taking out all kinds of scum. Drug dealers, pimps, corrupt politicians and business execs. But then Le Bel told me to kill some guy, poor, who did the best he could without hurting anybirdie. It was jarring to kill someone like that. In my line of work, you think you get desensitized, but... I made a mistake, and I got caught. The good Monsieur then bailed on me. He refused to help me out of the predicament he landed me in, and even refused to pay me for my services. His reasoning was that he didn't want the money trail to lead back to him, but I think he was just a cheap asshole. Regardless, the charges didn't stick, thank my lucky stars!"_

_"But then, a month ago, my doctor says I have cancer. From smoking too much, he says. Got maybe three months to live. If I get arrested, it won't mean a thing if I don't live long enough to serve my sentence. And if I can bring down that bastard's progeny with me, then that's just icing on the cake. I'll lose the money he paid me, most likely, but Albert here has promised to make sure my family is taken care of, so it doesn't really matter."_

_Jory took a long drag on his cigarette. "I guess this is also a form of repentance for me, and the last chance I'll get before I kick the bucket. I still think about that poor guy I killed... The least I can do for him is to help make sure his son lives a long, happy life. You look a little like him, you know," Jory said with a wink._

_Sakuya's breath halted in his chest. How did he...?_

_Jory laughed. "And, there's also the fact that Albert offered me twice what your idiot brother did to switch sides. That was a pretty attractive reason too." Jory slammed his side door shut and climbed into the driver's seat. "Well, you two better get going. I'll handle everything from here." Jory turned on the engine and waved them on._

_Albert nodded and pushed a still wonderstruck Sakuya forward, back down the road they had driven up. Less than a minute later, there was a huge explosion. Sakuya spun around to see the fireball erupting above the tree line. Albert grabbed his shoulders and turned him back around, forcing him to continue._

_"Keep moving forward," Albert said, as Sakuya's eyes filled with tears once more, "And never look back."_

"I'm sorry Yuuya. I'm so sorry. Everyday I wanted to call you, to tell you what really happened, but... I was selfish. But isn't that the way it always is? I've always been such a selfish, spoiled brat. I kept telling myself that I would stay safe if I didn't reach out to you, and that I would keep you safe too. But like everything else, everything I do or don't do just hurts you.

"You said you're a coward, but I'm the real coward. I was so afraid of getting caught, but more than that, I was... I was afraid of you. I was afraid of your reaction. Afraid of you reacting the way that you just did. It's easy to sing praises for someone who's dead, but when they're alive, when they lie to you, it's so much easier to hate them. And I couldn't bear it if you hated me... You're the only one..." Sakuya broke down sobbing, unable to complete his thought.

To be honest, a lot of Sakuya's feelings mirrored Yuuya's own, when he struggled with telling him the truth about his birth. Even still, Yuuya never let him believe he was dead. "Sakuya, I am _angry_ at you, but I don't hate you. I could _never_ hate you. I love you, Sakuya..." Now it was Yuuya's turn to break down crying.

Sakuya rushed over to his brother and threw his arms around him, burying his face in Yuuya's chest. Yuuya protectively wrapped his arms around the younger bird and stroked the back of his head as they both continued to cry.

"It's going to be okay," Yuuya said through his tears. "I promise, Little Brother, everything’s going to be..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I sat down to write this fic, I was thinking I'd write a nice, fluffy little Leone X Yuuya fic for my good friend Bon, since that's their otp and there are no fics for it. But then I kinda "killed" Sakuya, like, right away, and it just spiraled from there into a Sad Fantail Bros fic with random cockatiel smooching on the side. Oops. Well, a writer must follow her inspiration I suppose. Maybe I'll do better next time, sorry Bon!


End file.
